


Somebody to Love

by breadqueen95



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, One Shot, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadqueen95/pseuds/breadqueen95
Summary: Sirius Black and y/n have been best friends for years, and now live together as roommates. They both work for the Ministry of Magic and are struggling with the impending war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. They find comfort in each other one fateful night through Queen's "Somebody to Love".
Relationships: Sirius Black/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Somebody to Love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to @breadqueen95 on Tumblr
> 
> Yes I am a massive Sirius Black simp and what about it?
> 
> Also Sirius as Freddie Mercury? The vibes are IMMACULATE.

Once again, a long day at work had sucked the energy right out of you.

After practically pouring yourself through the door of your flat, you dumped your keys on the table by the door, releasing a particularly big sigh. You kicked off your heels, which might look professional, but hurt like a bitch. Shuffling over to the liquor cabinet, you opened the firewhiskey and poured yourself a generous shot and knocked it back like a champ.

Back when you were at Hogwarts, working for the Ministry of Magic had seemed like the dream. Steady job, center of the U.K. wizarding community, being around other witches and wizards all day…what could possibly go wrong? As it turns out, everything.

You worked for the Department of International Cooperation, working with different wizarding governments and organizations from all over the world. Again, seems exciting, right? But Voldemort’s gradual increase in support was complicating things. Every single day was spent fielding concerned messages about the Ministry’s control over the situation, and they were right to be concerned. From what you saw, the Minister didn’t even really have a plan yet. As a muggleborn yourself, you were especially worried about how the situation was turning out.

As that reminder ran across your mind, you heaved out another sigh and poured yourself another shot, downing it almost immediately. Consumed by your worries and thoughts, you didn’t hear your roommate come in the kitchen behind you.

“Bad day?” A smooth voice drawled behind you. You jumped about 10 feet, almost dropping the bottle of firewhiskey right on the ground in the process, before turning and glaring at him.

“Damn it, Sirius! Don’t sneak up on me like that, you know I’m jumpy,” you hissed, taking in your roommate of nearly a year now. Sirius Black: former schoolmate, current best friend, and also the man you have the fattest crush on. Wait, let’s be real here. You were hopelessly in love with him. 

Brushing his long black hair out of his eyes, he joked, “C’mon darling, go easy on me. It’s not exactly hard to scare you, is it?”

Of course he had to use _darling_ , you could never stay mad at him when he called you that and he knew it. Rolling your eyes, a small grin broke out across your face.

“Guess you’re right,” you muttered, turning back to the counter. He made his way over to stand next to you, grabbing a shot glass for himself before pouring another shot for you and one for himself.

“Bad day for you too, huh?” You asked, taking in the dark circles under his normally bright grey eyes. They had dimmed in recent weeks, and you hated seeing the light that was Sirius slowly go out. 

“Yeah y/n, guess you could say that” Sirius answered quietly before knocking his own shot back. You followed suit soon after.

Sirius also worked at the Ministry, but in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Specifically, he was an Auror. If you had told him years ago he’d end up working in law enforcement, he would’ve laughed right in your face. But with Voldemort and his Death Eaters getting bolder and crueler with every passing week, Sirius wanted to fight back somehow. He was absolutely miserable and saw the worst of humanity every single day. Even so, the most important person in his life was muggleborn; you. You were in the most danger, and so even if he hated his job, he would stay to protect you.

“Want to talk about it?” You asked gently, knowing full well what kind of horrors he had to face. Information like that spread fast in the office, and in your position you had to know the facts to try and smooth them over with the U.K.’s international allies.

“Nope,” he answered shortly, before pouring another shot for himself. You tried not to take his shortness personally. He had been so badly abused by his family, making it hard for Sirius to open up to anyone, even his best friends. It was easier for him with you and James, but he still struggled with vocalizing about things he had seen and what he felt.

You stepped away from his side, trying to give him space. Sometimes that was what he needed, and you knew that. You quickly washed the glass you had used, carefully setting it back in the cabinet. After already almost shattering an entire bottle of firewhiskey, and with the warmth of the alcohol coursing through you, you made sure to be careful.

As you were closing the cabinet, you felt warm arms snaking around your waist. Sirius pressed his face against your shoulder, taking deep breaths. You wove your fingers through his and held tightly.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, y/n,” he muttered against your skin, “things have been rough lately, and I honestly don’t know how to handle it.” You turned around and wrapped your arms tightly around him, holding him as close as you possibly could.

“It’s okay, love” you whispered, “I’m here for you, you know that right?” His answer was a simple nod into the crook of your neck. You knew he knew that fact already, but you also knew how important it was for you to say it. He needed that affirmation.

The way you were holding each other in the kitchen of your shared flat would seem romantic to anyone who happened to witness the scene. James Potter had teased you both about things like this mercilessly, often calling you “the couple that won’t admit they’re actually a couple”. The truth was that you and Sirius had always been like this, even back at Hogwarts. Cuddling on the couch, long hugs at the end of a long day, forehead kisses…it was all normal for you and him.

That was what you told James, anyway. You had been in love with Sirius for as long as you could remember. You never said anything, not wanting to lose him as a friend. You had been close to confessing several times, after lingering looks during a night of drinking especially. But you never did, thinking Sirius could never return your feelings. _He’s just a flirty person_ you would tell yourself, _he’s just affectionate with his friends._

Sirius took deep breaths, trying to focus on you and your intoxicating scent to calm down. He’s been prone to panic attacks since he was young, especially with how he was raised. They got better after living with the Potters but have been getting worse again because of what he dealt with as an Auror. You were the only thing that helped ground him in those moments. The feel of your small frame in his arms, the smell of your lavender shampoo, your heartbeat against his chest.

Sirius had loved you since before he even knew what love was. Home had never been easy to define for him, with his childhood at 12 Grimmauld Place equating to a torture house. Living with James and his parents had felt like what a home _should_ be, but it never really felt like it belonged to him. After he moved in with you, spending nearly every day together, he realized his home wasn’t a place; it was a person.

Maturity in Sirius brought about the realization that you were the one for him, he just didn’t know how to tell you. He thought about you constantly, how to possibly bring about the subject. Those moments after nights of drinking you mentioned? He had been right about to tell you so many times, wanting to confess his deepest feelings for you. But you had pulled away every time. By trying to protect yourself and your own heart, you actually prevented him from saying anything.

So here you both were, standing in each other’s embrace in your tiny kitchen, taking comfort from each other. You, like always, were the first to pull away. Brushing strands of Sirius’ inky black hair out of those gorgeous eyes of his, you stepped away to grab your phone.

“I’ll call for some takeout, yeah? Seems like we deserve it after such an awful day,” you quipped, trying to settle your pounding heart. Firewhiskey made you flirty and forward, and you might’ve done something on any other night, but with the state of both of you it just wasn’t the time. It was never the time, it seems. 

Sirius forced a smile and said, “Yeah, sounds good.”

***

2am that same night found you sprawled on your bed, trying desperately to sleep.

A good night’s rest was hard to come by these days. Thoughts of Voldemort, the things he fought for, what he and his supporters did…they ran in your mind in a constant loop. Every time you thought you were close to actually falling asleep, fear of what was to come jerked you right out of it. On the nights you were too exhausted to stay awake, nightmares suffocated you until you would jolt up in bed, sweating profusely from terror and unable to even think about closing your eyes.

Sighing in defeat, you reach over and switch on the small speaker that lived next to your bed. It stayed there for nights like this. You connected your phone and scrolled through your music.

You cast _muffliato_ over your room to prevent Sirius from hearing and shuffled your favorite playlist. As the beginning notes began to filter through your room, filling the spaces where unbearable silence had once been, you clamped your eyes shut. Quietly singing along, you tried to escape the doom that threatened to settle over you all. 

***

In his room next door, Sirius lurched upright in his bed, a scream lingering on his lips. Taking deep shuddering breaths, he buried his face in his hands and tried to calm down. Not an easy task, mind you.

Much like his panic attacks, Sirius was used to nightmares. With everything he had been through, with everything he was currently going through, he never knew a decent night’s sleep. Every night his mind managed to come up with new and creative terrors, scaring Sirius into consciousness, with the occasional scream wrenching him out of his slumber.

All he wanted when he woke up like this was you, and you had woken several mornings to find Sirius passed out next to you, curled into your side. You had increasingly done the same as your nightmares had gotten worse. Now it was commonplace for you to go to bed separately but wake up together in the morning. 

Honestly, James kind of had a point.

Sirius swung his legs over the side of his bed, fumbling for a shirt in the darkness. He wasn’t even fully aware of what he was doing, he just had to get to you and hold you in his arms. 

This goal had more urgency and desperation than usual. Tonight the nightmare was about you. Voldemort had you, was torturing you as you screamed for Sirius to help you, to make it stop…Bellatrix’s cruel laughter sounded in his ears. Faceless Death Eaters held him back as he tried to get to you, to save you, but no matter what he did he couldn’t prevent the flash of the green light from taking your life. Even now as he stumbled out his door, tears were prickling at the corners of his eyes. 

When he had woken up, the scream forcing its way from his lungs, it had been your name on his lips. You were something he could never hope to live without, and he was painfully aware of that fact. 

Taking one more breath to try to calm himself, he gently turned the handle of your door, trying not to wake you up. Instead of finding you peacefully snoring the night away, he found something else entirely. 

You were still lying flat on your bed, but your speaker was on, music softly playing. Your y/e/c eyes were tightly shut, brow furrowed, as you quietly sang along to Queen’s _Somebody to Love._

_Each morning I get up I die a little_

_Can barely stand on my feet_

_Take a look in the mirror and cry_

_Lord, what you’re doing to me_

It was one of your favorite songs. The sweeping lyrics and passionate crooning of Freddie Mercury brought you to a different place entirely, and it was so easy to get lost in this song. Sirius leaned against the doorframe, momentarily forgetting about the horrors of his dreams. He felt his mouth quirk into a small smile as he watched you. 

_I spent all my years in believing you_

_But I just can’t get no relief, Lord_

_Somebody, oh somebody_

_Can anybody find me_

_Somebody to love?_

You sat up, the music taking you to a different place. Fully intending to put on a small performance in your room, you started to swing your legs over the side of your bed. Cracking your eyes open, you suddenly saw Sirius watching you. 

SHIT.

You froze, eyes wide, and reached over, quickly pausing the song. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to cover it. You normally didn’t really care what anyone thought, especially Sirius. In fact, Sirius was usually the one with you in moments like this. But you felt so raw from exhaustion, and in such a vulnerable place...you didn’t exactly know how to react. 

Luckily, Sirius was your favorite person in the world for a reason. 

He grinned at you, and said quietly, “Now my darling y/n, don’t stop on my account.” He walked over to your speaker and turned the volume almost as loud as it would go. He gestured to your phone, urging you to press play again. You did and began to laugh as Sirius danced around your room singing where you had left off. 

_I work hard_

_Every day of my life_

_I work hard ‘till I ache my bones_ “Y/N/N you better join me I swear to Merlin.” Laughing, you began to sing with the backup singers as Sirius continued to channel his inner Freddie Mercury. 

_At the end (at the end of the day)_

_I take home my hard-earned pay all on my own_

_I get down (down) on my knees (knees)_

_And I start to pray (praise the lord)_

_‘Till the tears run down from my eyes, Lord_

As the chorus began to swell once again, Sirius grabbed your hands and pulled you to your feet. You only laughed harder as he danced even more aggressively, urging you to sing along with him as the chorus came around again, and then the first bridge. 

“Y/N Y/N it’s the guitar solo quick get into character!” Sirius yelled over the song. Both of you faced each other and began a wild interpretive dance around the small space. You twirled and jumped, both laughing so hard you could barely breathe. 

“OOOOOO SIRIUS WE GOT THE SECOND BRIDGE LET’S GOOOO,” You exclaimed, getting ready to shout the lyrics you both knew so well. 

_Got no feel, I got no rhythm_

_I just keep losing my beat_

_I’m okay, I’m alright_

_I ain’t gonna face no defeat_

_I just gotta get out of this prison cell_

_Someday, I’m gonna be free lord_

On the last word, you both belted it out for everything you were worth. Your favorite part was coming, and Sirius knew it. You both started chanting quietly with the band, “find me somebody to love”, increasing with volume as they did. 

There was a change, though. Y/E/C eyes locked with grey, and there was that intensity again. There seemed to be newfound meaning to the words you were singing, the riffing of Freddie’s voice falling away as you got lost in Sirius. There was a magnet pulling you together, until you were chest to chest, breathing harshly from all the exertion. This time, you didn’t pull away. 

_Can anybody find me_

_Somebody to Love?_

As the music banged back to life, Sirius grabbed your waist and pulled you in, his lips meeting yours in a searing kiss. You didn’t even hesitate to begin kissing him back, your lips moving together slowly but passionately. It had taken so long for this to happen, but kissing him felt so natural, like you had been doing it your entire existence. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to somehow pull him even closer even though your bodies were already melded together. His grip around your waist only tightened, fingers wrapping possessively around any part of you he could find. 

You carded your fingers through that hair of his that you loved so much, enjoying the feel of the silky strands against your skin. You tugged slightly, earning a breathy sigh against your mouth. You couldn’t help but grin against the kiss, intoxicated by the way he made you feel. 

You both jumped apart as _It’s Not Living (If It’s Not with You)_ by The 1975 began blaring through your speaker. Both of you burst out laughing as you rushed to turn the speaker off. Silence filled the room once again, but unlike earlier it didn’t make you feel scared or lonely. You looked over at Sirius, the love of your life, to see him looking at you with all the love in the world in his eyes. Full of life and light again, it was like Sirius was himself again. 

As Sirius looked at you, he thought he had never seen anything or anyone so gorgeous and perfect in his life. You had the biggest smile on your face as you looked back at him, something sparkling in your eyes that he hadn’t seen in a long time: joy. 

“Well, Miss Y/L/N, it took us long enough,” he said as he smirked at you. 

“It certainly did, Black,” you said as you made your way back over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck once again. A gravity suddenly settled over you both, the deep feelings you’d harbored for each other for so long finally forcing their way into the open. You took a deep breath, knowing it was time. 

Looking deeply into his eyes, you said quietly, “I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to say it, but I’m so in love with you, Sirius. I never said anything because I was so scared to lose you, especially now with a full out war coming.” Your voice failed you for a second, unable to get words out from the sheer emotion of your confession. Sirius gently tucked a stray strand of y/h/c behind your ear, fingers lingering as he caressed your cheek, waiting for you to continue. 

“I’m just so tired of running from you, I can’t do it anymore,” you whispered, burying your face into the warmth of his chest. 

As he soothingly rubbed small circles into your back, he whispered in your ear, “Then don’t, love. Don’t keep running from me. I want you with me. I love you too. I always have, and I always will.” The tears came hot and fast now, love for this amazing man overwhelming you. 

You pulled back to look at him, answering, “Something awful is coming, Sirius. We both know it, and we both know I’m a liability. Are you sure you still want this? Want me?”

“My darling girl,” he began, taking your face in his hands in the softest way possible, “I’m going to stay with you, no matter what comes. You’re my life, you’re it for me. I love you to the moon and back, and lord help the person that tries to take you from me. I love you.” 

You couldn’t answer with words, so you pulled him in for another kiss instead. It was simple, soft, and unhurried. You weren’t sure how much time you had together, but you knew you wouldn’t dare rush a thing. 

After a few minutes of kissing, you pulled away and asked, “Stay with me tonight?” 

“Always,” he murmured, before pulling you toward your bed. 

Somehow, you knew you’d both be able to sleep tonight.


End file.
